The mind can be a wondrous thing. Capable of dreaming up your greatest fantasies, or summoning your darkest nightmares. Worst, or best yet is, it's also responsible for making them real within you. Both on a psychological level, as well as a more physical one. Held deep within the mind lies the keys to your eternal freedom, or endless imprisonment, and everything in-between. So how might one go about changing one, into the other?
First you must recognize that your fears are illusory. They take place in the mind, and purely so. What happens is, you see something, then your mind projects and overlays what your see with a slanted perception created by this fear in the mind.
These fears are often created by bad experiences in the past that may have induced some form of trauma, which is why they now effect your perception. It's a means of your mind trying to help protect you from what's hurt you once before.
These slanted perceptions are almost always related to the trauma that caused them. Such as an abusive spouse or parent that had a tattoo may make it difficult to like tattoos or trust people who have them, because on a conscious or subconscious level, it reminds you of that abusive person, so on the inside, you cringe, or seize up a bit, throw up your walls, to protect yourself. This is important, because if your not already aware of the source of this problem, you can kind of track it down inside you.
If you don't really like the idea of tracking it down, or can't find it, then don't worry about it. It might give you an edge in tackling the problem if your serious about dealing with it, but it's not mandatory to find the source.
There are many kinds of problems that the mind and heart may harbor in a person. The tattoo example was just one. The purpose of this post isn't to show how to tackle fears, but to build or rebuild mental aspects of yourself for change. You can tackle fears with this approach, though.
As you may have guessed by the types of posts I write, that I am a fan of meditation. Mostly because of the profound benefits it produces, from a process that is, in the end, fairly simple, and the best results are achieved in a deeply meditative state.
Ever hear the saying, "Energy flows where attention goes"? If you haven't, it just means that whatever your mind dwells on, becomes stronger, because energy is feeding it. Energy follows the mind, not unlike your blood.
If you place your attention on, let's say, your hand, blood begins to flow better into your hand, you feel it more, and your awareness of it grows. The same can be said for thoughts and ideas and beliefs, that you hold in your mind. Even fears.
If you constantly worry about things that bother you, and stir them from within, holding on to them, then they strengthen. But to say, "Stop thinking about it!", obviously isn't as easy as it sounds.
Any issue that you are dealing with has gained some strength because you probably fed it energy through thinking about it, and therefore, it has acquired a sense of gravity in your mind, constantly pulling you back towards those issues you are trying to correct.
So, if you can't starve the issue out, what's left? You work with it's opposite. You think the issue out. If you can create and strengthen problems that reoccur in your mind, then you should be able to do the opposite, right? Create and strengthen something positive, like a counter weight that will eventually overtake the fear or problem, and replace it.
Say you have a fear of public speaking, how might you go about overcoming that fear by building confidence in public speaking, or at least neutrality.
First you think of your fear of public speaking, maybe being on stage in front of a crowd. Take a look at your response to this situation, pay attention to your emotional reaction to it, and follow it a little, see if you can see what about this situation makes you feel uncomfortable. Is it attention? Negative attention? People laughing? Judging you? Ridiculing what you have to say, or ignoring it as unimportant? See if you can narrow it down a little.
Once you have something to go off of, take emotion out of the equation, it will only mess with you from this point on. Pull it all into the mind, and keep the mind from dragging the body into this process with feelings and emotions and tension. Keep it objective. Try to understand some truths behind it, such as, it's not going to kill you.
Fear is a product of the mind, a creation based on perception, but not real. What you think that they might think or do, can't effect you unless you let it. It may sound a little cheesy, but it is true. It's a part of keeping it objective. The truth is in most cases, they aren't thinking or feeling what you think they are.
Imagine then going on stage and being completely calm, giving a presentation, keeping your mind off the crowd, and doing fine. Walk yourself through it as if it was as real as you can imagine it. Feel the calm, collectedness you have while up there, unbothered by the crowd. Speaking fluently and focused. Embody this as best you can.
Emotions will probably try to weasel their way in, but resolve to keep your will strong, since the mind has a tendency to undermine your will with doubt, and you can't let it. It's very important to hone the will.
By doing this thoroughly and realistically and repeatedly, you will begin to build up confidence in the mind and heart as your will strengthens and focuses. For some, however, imagining themselves doing what they believe they can't do, is akin to dreaming up dragons and unicorns, and a lot of times they just don't accept it within. There is a slightly different route you can take then.
First, repeat and try to understand deeply the truth of the phrase, "If they can do it, so can I". Then remember someone else you have seen do what it is you wish to do, and try to see in them what it is that allows them to do it. As if you can see into their hearts and minds, see what gives them the capacity to do it. It's almost like a part of you feels for it, begins to know it a little, gets closer to it.
If you pay attention, you may notice that as you do this, you actually begin feeling a little more capable of it. So long as you keep your attention on the other person doing it. But it's almost like it's sympathetic, as you see it in another, you begin to mirror it within yourself.
The feelings you get when you do this, are yours. Anything that you are capable of, is already inside you. You're not creating something new, you are dragging up something old, something you have always had, you just need to get used to it actually being present.
After all, everyone has at least once in their lives experienced confidence before, and in order for you to have experienced it then, you had to be capable of it, and in order for you to experience it now, means your still have it. This is true for everything else you want for yourself as well.
This can even work if you are trying to break new ground altogether. And of course, it's not limited to my examples of tattoo's or public speaking or confidence, but anything you really wish to overcome, change or add, if you believe you don't already have it, and anything else.
I actually quit smoking using this method. It took several days of doing this though, thinking about what it was going to be like after quitting, how good I'd feel, what it would take, imagining the strength, remembering a time when I didn't smoke, and knowing it was possible, since anything is. The weirdest thing happened.
Although it still was a rough road with the cravings, something inside me, deep inside, seemed to almost carry me through it. It's almost like I built up this idea of quitting so much, that a deeper part of me, maybe the subconscious or something, picked up on it, and ran with it, without me needing to do much.
It will be the same for you.
Anyways, I hope you enjoyed!
